Some say love...

The qualities and characteristics of love that I seek to experience in dating/committed relationships are appreciation, closeness, care and a friendship. The song “All of Me” by John Legend explains the type of appreciation and sense of togetherness that I would want in a relationship. “Love all your curves and edges, all your perfect imperfections, give your all to me and I’ll give my all to you” is a quote from “All of Me” and this sense of love is what I hope for in a relationship. Although the message in this song of complete love no matter what may be only an ideal, I seek to experience some type of the relationship in this songs message. Ed Sheeran’s song, “Give me love” talks about a friendship in love and just being able to have fun with the person you love. In a dating/committed relationship, being able to just have fun and do more than just romantic things is an ideal for me. “In the darkest night I’ll search through the crowd, your face is all that I see. I’ll give you everything.” This is a quote from Beyoncé’s song “XO,” which explains how even in difficult times, all she can see is Jay-Z’s love. Even when there are hard times in a committed relationship, I hope that we would be able to get through it. “Unconditionally” by Katy Perry is a song talking about closeness and friendship in a relationship. She says how she will love her boyfriend unconditionally through anything because she loves him. My expectations of a relationship are illustrated in this song, and in Emeli Sande’s song “Next to Me.” Sande’s song illustrates all of the qualities that I seek to experience in a relationship because her song talks about her appreciation for him always being there for her. The closeness and friendship comes in when she talks about how she knows that he will be next to her, and I think that care automatically occurs in any of these songs.

I do not really believe in the quest for soul mates at all because I have never thought of finding a husband in the form of a soul mate. I have always seen love as a partnership in all aspects of life, instead of the ideal that this person is your “soul mate” and is “the one.” All of the committed relationships that I know of such as my parents and grandparents are complete partnerships. They never make any decisions without each other and truly care about each other. They may be soul mates or they may not be, but I do not think that you have to be with your soul mate in order to be happy. Therefore, I agree with the quest for soul mates described in the article. If someone is lucky enough to find his/her soul mate, I think it is a 50/50 chance of working out forever. In my opinion, those who believe in soul mates may be blinded by a completely idealized relationship, and do not expect to face any problems. However, I could be wrong, but I do not expect to meet my soul mate. I expect to meet someone who will make me happy, and I could make happy in good times and bad. Someone I can just have fun with, work through difficult times with, and hopefully come out of them stronger. 

Gender

1.)   I have been taught that girls should be classy and polite with good manners. I also have been taught that girls should be clean and not get dirty the way boys would. Instead, I should play with Polly Pockets or Barbie dolls. I don’t think that a specific person taught me these messages. I think that by going to school and socializing with others has influenced the way I believe a girl should behave. However, when I was little my mom pointed me in the direction toward my “girlie girl” ways.

 

2.)   My family has definitely treated my sister and I differently than they have treated my brother. As my brother has gotten older, he is told that he is the man and should lift heavy packages or items, for example. On the other hand, my sister and I have been told that those items are too heavy for us; we should let a man pick them up.

3.)   I think going to an all-girls high school has affected my understanding of my gender by teaching me that I’m more than just a domestic figure. I have the opportunity and power to make a difference in the world, and do anything I want if I put my mind to it. To identify myself as a woman means that I am capable of not only being able to become a mother of love and affection, but also to do anything a man can do, and maybe even do it better. This school has made an impact on me by being in an environment that is so driven to teach us that we can do great things. I am capable of many absolutely anything and everything because I’m an educated, strong young woman.

4.)   I expect the “traditional” roles of men to apply to a romantic relationship, and I would anticipate taking on some of the typical women roles. However, I expect to be treated as an equal that can share the roles in a relationship. Also, I do not expect to be the only emotional and expressive type. I hope to meet a man that will treat me the right way and tell me how much he cares for me. I think I have these ideals because in society today, most girls anticipate a relationship being like the one I described. We expect equality, but men to do gentlemanly acts of kindness. We expect a man to tell us how much we mean to them because we would express that affection as well. I think that these ideals come from the media; especially “chick flicks” because those movies and TV shows as well idealize what a perfect relationship is or should be. I think I am modeling my expectations after my mom and dad’s relationship because they are always together with everything. With major decisions in our household, my parents always discuss everything together and never make any super important decisions without each other. In this case, they are equals all the way. My dad expresses his emotions, but sometimes he does that in very subtle ways. My dad and mom share all the chores as well. 

Blog #3 - Miss Representation Documentary

     As I have watched Miss Representation, my first reaction is anger to how women are objectified and viewed. The commentary of the men in this documentary from various television shows is absolutely ludicrous in my eyes. I am appalled that men devalue women by thinking, out loud, that they are not good enough to hold the same positions as men. If I could I would respond to these men by saying that without women, they would not be as successful as they might be today. There are many women behind the scenes of large companies and businesses that never go acknowledged. It is extremely unfair for the way women are objectified as sex symbols, and not taken as seriously by men as they should be. The insanity of the comments and thoughts running through the minds of the men in this documentary completely strike me and make me furious.
      As a young woman, I anticipate my role in the workplace to be equal to the role of men. I plan on being a Physician Assistant, and in this career I expect to be valued as much as a male coworker. I have been working as hard as I can to get the grades to be accepted into a great college with the Physician Assistant program. I hope to be treated with the same amount of respect as men in this program. I know that I will work to my highest potential in order to be the best that I can be as someone who will help many in my career. I expect and also hope that I will be given the same opportunities and respect as men in the workplace. I hope to be able to work with a man as an equal, instead of being treated as a lesser.
      Attending the Mount has affected my understanding of my gender and identity for the best. I have learned that I am a strong, independent woman, who can achieve anything I want. By attending the Mount, as cliché as it may sound, I have developed a greater sense of self and who I want to be. I have created amazing goals for myself that will shape my future as well as realized who I am. If I did not come to Mount, I do not think I would have grown into the girl I am today. I know that I can make a difference, despite my gender and the prejudice that comes with it because Mount has shaped me into a confident person.

Mission Statement

I intend to bring joy, hope, love, and faith to those that I will help and comfort in my career path of being a Physician Assistant. In my career, I want to apply my core life values such as affection, compassion, care, and understanding. In my family life, I will teach my children someday to be confident, loyal, forgiving, honest friends and family members who can strive to make a difference in little acts of good. I will strive for excellence to the best of my ability in all life aspects. I will be an honest, loyal, compassionate friend, sister, daughter, granddaughter, niece, and cousin. In doing so, I hope to incorporate peace, comfort, faith, laughter, and joy in my positions of life. I want to spread all the values that I carry with me every day to others who do not possess them; especially the values of love, faith, joy, clarity, family, friendship, affection, compassion, appreciation, and optimism.

Identity

As a family girl and a homebody, my family members are a big influence in my life and the reason I am the person I have become. However, I have to say that my friends, especially family friends, are also a huge part of my developed identity. Therefore, my mom, grand mom, and family friend, Sister Angela has each contributed to the love, self-esteem, and faith I acquire today. Unfortunately, not every girl’s mom is her best friend, but for me, my mom is. For as long as I can remember, my mom has taught be about caring and loving for others. However, she didn’t actually give straightforward lessons on the definition of love. Instead, she let her actions teach me. My mom is the type of woman that runs around the house doing everything and anything possible for my siblings and I. From giving us goodnight kisses to washing our clothes (even when she didn’t feel like it). For the longest time I believed that was pure love—doing things for others even when you hated doing it. Although one day when my mom was complaining about all the laundry she had to do, I asked her why she does it if makes her miserable? I expected an answer like “well no one else is going to do it,” but she responded saying, “I may hate doing the laundry, but I’d be miserable if I didn’t have your laundry to do.” From that day on, I realized that pure love comes from the graces you have, even if it means doing some extra laundry.

All of my family members are like my personal cheer team, but I have to say the one person who is the head of the cheer team is my grand mom. She never fails to make me feel good about myself. Whenever I’m feeling low, I know that I can call my grand mom for support and a confidence boost. I recently called her to talk to her about how hard it is to wait to hear from colleges. As I wait for my top choice to tell me whether or not I’ve been accepted, I worry that I’m going to get rejected. When I told my grand mom about my anxiety, she simply told me that I’ve done my best and if this college really doesn’t want me then it’s their loss. I’m not sure why, but just hearing this from my grand mom always makes me feel better. Even though it was only a small comment, I think that I feel better because of all the small comments that have boosted my confidence over the years from her. Because of my grand mom, I have acquired the self-esteem that I have today and will continue to carry with me for the rest of my life.

“Pray, God will listen” is a saying I would hear for two weeks during the month of August when our family friend, Sister Angela Joseph would come down the shore. For years I would complain to her about my most recent issues, which were primarily school related since August was the countdown month to the first day of school. I particularly remember the summer before freshman year, and the anxiety I felt. I sat on the beach with Sister, and vented about all my worries and fears of the first day of freshman year. In hindsight, all my fears were silly, but at the time I remember saying “I’m never going to make any friends.” When I said that, Sister Angela turned to me and said, “Oh don’t be ridiculous, there’s nothing to be nervous about, just pray and God will listen.” For years, she would preach to me about God and slip in little faith lessons wherever she could. The lessons landed mostly between the time we would go to the beach and shop at the Atlantic City Outlets. My strong faith and development in prayer would never be the way they are today if it wasn’t for the lessons that Sister Angela taught me. http://www.pray-as-you-go.org/home/